To set the scene. I have been going to a life drawing class for two weeks. I've wanted to do one of these classes ever since my Art A level and somehow never got round to it until now. Unfortunately it's not because my artistic juices are overflowing, instead it is a very obvious attempt to meet some people.
So along I go with a big pad of newsprint under my arm and my brand new, not yet out of the packaging, pastels, charcoal and pencils. The class is on the top floor of a four storey beast of a house. There are only 6 of us with a very cool-arty teacher called Robyn, who wears dungarees covered in paint splattered and a farmers cap, made famous by the charvers of the world. As it is the second week, we are all still a little unsure of each other - I mean we are there to stare at a naked body for two hours.
Everyone sets up their easel, struggles to get it to the right height, finds a drawing board, puts the board on the easel, adjusts the height again. Then tapes some paper up on the board and organises sparking utensils in a neat row within reaching distance. There's small chat about the storms, charcoal and the insanely hot temperature in the room. (No one had turned the air con on before we got there.) And then Robyn announces that she was going to get him. Me being me exclaims "it's a him!" - not because I was squeamish about drawing a man but because I'd only ever done (ha ha ha) women before. Robyn gives me an amused look and calls in the model.
Next thing - in walks a fifty-ish, slim, naked grey haired gentleman very very quickly. In the split second it took him to get from the door to the little stage for the models, it was impossible not to watch the fully formed rocking erection that led him into the room. He then took his place on his podium facing forward with his third eye staring at us all. It was hilarious. The poor guy stood there in 100 degree heat while we started to draw and you could tell from his face he was screaming in his head "Go down, Go down, Go down".
It did go down....Eventually.
XXXXXXXX
Thinking: I'm happy to be a woman
Listening to: the hilarity of American Football commentary. The woman down on the line just claimed she "had just talked to an expert in medicine and science"
Monday, September 26, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Mattress madness
Did anyone know how convoluted buying a mattress is? We spent the entire day..well afternoon (last night involved some intensive wine guzzling) buying a bed and mattress ......and also the two other essential items for a new home - a wine rack shaped like a Egyptian pharaoh and an urn suitable for tall flowers or possibly umbrellas.
After buying our Egyptian fellow and faux antique urn, we engulfed a McDonald and walked into the longest shopping experience of our lives. The minute we walked into a branch of the "northeast's foremost furniture retailer", Thea. our furnishings consultant, pounced on us. After asking a few key questions, to work out how much commission she would be able to get out of us, she launched into a speech about the wonderful world of bed and mattress buying (mentioning numerous times that she had been doing this for 13 years and we were in very good hands.) At this point there was no escape - dazed and confused we were ushered on into the depths of the shop - which I'm convinced is designed like a casino, where you can't find the exit once your in.
So we did as Thea told us and walked around the "bedroom gallery" to select our new bed. Throughout the entire time, Thea followed us at a reasonable distance around the shop, comically jumping behind leather barkaloungers every time we looked round at her. It was bizarre.
Anyway we found a bed that looked great and wasn't too expensive..all good. But then Thea went into overdrive and led us to the mattress area and an experience never to be repeated. After another lengthy lecture about the right way to choose a mattress we spent maybe 2 HOURS picking the bloody thing. There are rules to this people.....first you have to decide if you are a plush person, a firm person or a pillow top person. I truly believed I would be a firm person but once I had tried the plush my whole world was turned upside down - beds are not meant to feel that good).
So plush it was, the next stage can be called - how much money do you want your plush to cost you. We entered the plush room where obviously they make you try the most expensive (and best) first so everything else seems crap. Many minutes passed as we bounced from mattress to mattress before a final decision was made. I'm not going to tell you how much we spent because it is very embarrassing but for the next what 10 years sleeping is going to kick ass!!!!!
We finally left the store, go in the car and couldn't move from sheer exhaustion. The Thea experience is not one to take lightly.
Mwaaa
Listening to: The Chris Moyles Show (sad I know)
Feeling: Sleepy
Discovering: humidity is not healthy for the British countenance.
After buying our Egyptian fellow and faux antique urn, we engulfed a McDonald and walked into the longest shopping experience of our lives. The minute we walked into a branch of the "northeast's foremost furniture retailer", Thea. our furnishings consultant, pounced on us. After asking a few key questions, to work out how much commission she would be able to get out of us, she launched into a speech about the wonderful world of bed and mattress buying (mentioning numerous times that she had been doing this for 13 years and we were in very good hands.) At this point there was no escape - dazed and confused we were ushered on into the depths of the shop - which I'm convinced is designed like a casino, where you can't find the exit once your in.
So we did as Thea told us and walked around the "bedroom gallery" to select our new bed. Throughout the entire time, Thea followed us at a reasonable distance around the shop, comically jumping behind leather barkaloungers every time we looked round at her. It was bizarre.
Anyway we found a bed that looked great and wasn't too expensive..all good. But then Thea went into overdrive and led us to the mattress area and an experience never to be repeated. After another lengthy lecture about the right way to choose a mattress we spent maybe 2 HOURS picking the bloody thing. There are rules to this people.....first you have to decide if you are a plush person, a firm person or a pillow top person. I truly believed I would be a firm person but once I had tried the plush my whole world was turned upside down - beds are not meant to feel that good).
So plush it was, the next stage can be called - how much money do you want your plush to cost you. We entered the plush room where obviously they make you try the most expensive (and best) first so everything else seems crap. Many minutes passed as we bounced from mattress to mattress before a final decision was made. I'm not going to tell you how much we spent because it is very embarrassing but for the next what 10 years sleeping is going to kick ass!!!!!
We finally left the store, go in the car and couldn't move from sheer exhaustion. The Thea experience is not one to take lightly.
Mwaaa
Listening to: The Chris Moyles Show (sad I know)
Feeling: Sleepy
Discovering: humidity is not healthy for the British countenance.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
home sweet home
SO sick of flat/apartment/house/loft hunting. I think we have only seen about 8 places but 6 of them were complete disasters, in one, the bathroom was spraypainted silver, the lounge in another had a HUGE 70's orange fireplace that filled the entire room and a bedroom in one had a horrendous black gate where one the wall should have been.
But the hunt has finally come to an end. We signed the lease on a three bed house in Italian market yesterday. How grown up are we, it is gorgeous...all wooden floors, great kitchen and room for lots and lots of people to stay. We move in on October 1st and I cannot wait. The place we are in at the moment was perfect when we first got here but a couple of weeks down the line living in one room, even with your nearest and dearest, becomes very very claustrophobic. Every sound and action is noticed - especially when one of you gets up at 5 in the morning and desperately tries to be quiet by doing everything slowly and delicately which obviously ends up being much noisier than normal, waking up the other one and causing a lot of tossing and turning and crankiness. Happiness is not found in a studio....Bring on the house!
Yesterday was a very good day. As well as signing a lease we saw The Roots at the symphony hall in downtown Philly. (It is one of my Philly goals to make friends with the Roots) The tickets were pretty expensive because of the venue and I'm not joking, in the entire time I've been here I have not seen so many white people in one place in Philly....and yes this was a Roots concert.
It started with the band entering with Black Thought (MC supreme), armed with megaphone, leading the New Orleans Brass Band through the audience to the stage and then gave the best performance I had ever seen. You couldn't understand a word he was saying but the whole thing was just amazing.
?estlove is the greatest drummer alive - anyone can disagree but you will be wrong.
At the end they left the way they came and the brass band led them out and this time the whole audience followed them. The Roots made a quick exit but the band kept playing and started to march around the lobby and made their way out onto the street with the entire audience following them into the Philly night. Then, in true marching band fashion, they started to march (!) down the street and for about 15 minutes the band and audience danced down the street together, stopping traffic, bemusing passers-by and basically having a wonderful time - every single person had a huge smile on their face. It was a very cool experience.
We are going to see the White Stripes in Atlantic City in a few weeks and they will have to go some to top that experience....will let you know.
Hugs and love
Listening to: Love Child - Diana Ross
Feeling: itchy (they have mutant mosquitoes over here and my delicate British flesh is not liking them very much!)
Thinking: iced tea kicks ass
But the hunt has finally come to an end. We signed the lease on a three bed house in Italian market yesterday. How grown up are we, it is gorgeous...all wooden floors, great kitchen and room for lots and lots of people to stay. We move in on October 1st and I cannot wait. The place we are in at the moment was perfect when we first got here but a couple of weeks down the line living in one room, even with your nearest and dearest, becomes very very claustrophobic. Every sound and action is noticed - especially when one of you gets up at 5 in the morning and desperately tries to be quiet by doing everything slowly and delicately which obviously ends up being much noisier than normal, waking up the other one and causing a lot of tossing and turning and crankiness. Happiness is not found in a studio....Bring on the house!
Yesterday was a very good day. As well as signing a lease we saw The Roots at the symphony hall in downtown Philly. (It is one of my Philly goals to make friends with the Roots) The tickets were pretty expensive because of the venue and I'm not joking, in the entire time I've been here I have not seen so many white people in one place in Philly....and yes this was a Roots concert.
It started with the band entering with Black Thought (MC supreme), armed with megaphone, leading the New Orleans Brass Band through the audience to the stage and then gave the best performance I had ever seen. You couldn't understand a word he was saying but the whole thing was just amazing.
?estlove is the greatest drummer alive - anyone can disagree but you will be wrong.
At the end they left the way they came and the brass band led them out and this time the whole audience followed them. The Roots made a quick exit but the band kept playing and started to march around the lobby and made their way out onto the street with the entire audience following them into the Philly night. Then, in true marching band fashion, they started to march (!) down the street and for about 15 minutes the band and audience danced down the street together, stopping traffic, bemusing passers-by and basically having a wonderful time - every single person had a huge smile on their face. It was a very cool experience.
We are going to see the White Stripes in Atlantic City in a few weeks and they will have to go some to top that experience....will let you know.
Hugs and love
Listening to: Love Child - Diana Ross
Feeling: itchy (they have mutant mosquitoes over here and my delicate British flesh is not liking them very much!)
Thinking: iced tea kicks ass
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Pats vs Genos
This afternoon, I witnessed first hand the biggest battle in Philly - the battle between Pats and Genos - the two ultimate Philly cheesesteak places. We went to an area called Italian market (as featured in the fantastic Rocky films - if you haven't seen Rocky 1 and 2 you must (don't bother with any of the others) for your Philly knowledge and to enrich your lives!) Italian market is where you can buy everything from whole pigs to fresh pasta to luxury cookware.) The place is fantastic, busy as hell with people filling up wheely shopping baskets, passing spice shops next to fish mongers next to sausage sellers next to chocolate shops. After about an hour of wandering we made our way towards the battleground.
A Philly cheesesteak is a staple food over here. It is a white bread roll filled with shredded steak (which kinda looked like kebab meat) with or without onions and cheese, served with a drink and cheesy fries. Not so good for the waistline but the amount of nervous sweating you do before ordering cancels out the weight gain. There are very strict rules for ordering a cheese steak:
Rule no. 1: You have to know what you want before you reach the counter.
Rule no. 2: You must choose either wit or witout (meaning with or without onions) and which cheese you want - American (plasticy cheese) or Provolone (Italian white cheese) or Cheese Whiz (cheese in a can (I'm not joking)). Ordering must use strict cheesesteak language such as if you want a steak with onions and cheese whiz you must say "Wit Whiz" or a steak without onions and no cheese is "Steak witout".
Rule no. 3: You must not hesitate when ordering, ask any questions or deviate from the above rules or you risk being trampled under other more educated cheese steak experts desperate for their Whiz!
Easy eh? Once you've got passed all that the steak is definitely an experience, but may taste a lot better after a heavy night out and the only thing that will do is some calorie busting, cholesterol accelerating uber greasy messy meat and chip combo. Pat and Geno's are the best and most famous cheesesteaks places in the world with a long rivalry. As I understand, Pat was the original steak joint - successful, profitable and unique. Until across the street a new steak place, Geno's, opened up copying Pat's set up exactly, except for covering their whole building in orange paint and neon signs (Pat's decor is much more subdued). Nowadays, they eyeball each other across the street as Phillyites and tourists alike munch their way through the greasy sandwiches...it's all pretty cool to watch.
We also experienced our first " First Friday" which is one night a month that all the small art galleries in one area of town open their doors to the public until late for free and with wine and beer. We wandered in and out of galleries falling in love with some stuff and gasping at the crazy prices and looking at the conceptual pieces uttering "I could do that at home" knowing full well that you couldn't. There is also a fringe festival going on and we were lucky enough to witness the first toilet tricycle race - which is exactly what it sounds like tricycles with toilets for seats. It was a blink and you'd miss it event but a hellava lot of fun.
If anything Philly is pretty interesting.....
LOL xxxxxxxx
Listening to: my husband being very noisy in the kitchen
Feeling: tired - went out for my first run in months today
Learnt this week: the Bush administration is more evil than I could of ever imagined
Thursday, September 01, 2005
The fresh prince has left the building
Innnnn West Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said "we're up in no good"
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said "you're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air"
So, Will Smith was sent away to the safety of LA (! has anyone seen 24) and I find myself bang in the middle of the immortalised West Philly. I should've been mugged by now right??? Nah, I don't need rescuing yet...here's a bit of context for you about where I am. Philly is the 5th largest city in the US and West Philly has always been the poorer area of town, but is home to the University of Penn, the Ivy league school/uni. Over the past 7 years Penn has implemented mortgage program enticing their staff to move into West Philly. This has been a huge success and has brought many many businesses to the area and basically regenerated the whole place. It is now to the point where we can't afford to rent anything here!
We are staying in a studio flat at the top of a HUGE Victorian house in a very leafy area of town. It comes complete with creaky floorboards, dusty antiques and that unmistakable old lady smell. And has one of those great front porches complete with swing, very important for the complete American experience! I have spent the first 5 days coming to terms with the enormous changes that have happened in the past 2 weeks - marriage, new city, new job etc. In the first few hours there was a lot of nearly throwing up, staring into space and restraining myself from turning around and racing back across the Atlantic road-runner style. Those feelings are still here but are a small whisper in my head not the full blown roar they were 5 days ago.
Due to the joys of jet-lag the first days here have been starting at 6.00am and ending at 9.00pm, hardcore I know. (We made it till 10 last night.) They have been filled with:
driving around the city
starting accounts
filling in a million forms
looking at houses
walking around in horrendous humidity and getting cranky
unpacking
frequenting Tar-shay (formerly known as Target
swinging on front porch swings
trying to figure out where to buy wine and beer
realizing wine and beer are sold in separate places
finding the places to buy wine and beer
buying wine and beer
grilling anyone about the city and where they think we should live
getting bitten by very hungry mosquitoes.
With all of this and a lot more (the list was getting a bit long) my first impressions of Philly are really positive. Everyone I've met has been unbelievably helpful and friendly, interested in what we are doing and willing to give us any advice they can.
The plan is to move into a rented place next month but trying to decide where to live is nearly impossible as we have no idea whether one area is better than another. Philly is called the city of neighbourhoods and it really lives up to it. You can be driving down a street and in the space of a mile you can go through a moderately OK area, a really run down area and then suddenly find yourself in upper class suburbia.
Once all of my feet-finding and jet-lag is finished I'll hopefully get a little more interesting and stop going on about neighborhoods! I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. I did, however, meet the most obsessively tidy person in the world the other night. This person, who will remain unnamed, poured wine using a kitchen towel around the neck to catch any drips and broke into a sweat when a glass was put down without a coaster. At one point some boxes were brought down from this person's attic and I couldn't help but notice that each one had a typed label listing every item...this person is now my ultimate tidy standard - if I can get half way there I'll be surpassing myself (especially considering the state of this place right now.)
Love and hugs
Listening to: The very best of Al Green
Sitting on: Sofa in temporary apartment
Weather is: glorious (why am I inside?)
Feel like: chatting
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said "we're up in no good"
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said "you're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air"
So, Will Smith was sent away to the safety of LA (! has anyone seen 24) and I find myself bang in the middle of the immortalised West Philly. I should've been mugged by now right??? Nah, I don't need rescuing yet...here's a bit of context for you about where I am. Philly is the 5th largest city in the US and West Philly has always been the poorer area of town, but is home to the University of Penn, the Ivy league school/uni. Over the past 7 years Penn has implemented mortgage program enticing their staff to move into West Philly. This has been a huge success and has brought many many businesses to the area and basically regenerated the whole place. It is now to the point where we can't afford to rent anything here!
We are staying in a studio flat at the top of a HUGE Victorian house in a very leafy area of town. It comes complete with creaky floorboards, dusty antiques and that unmistakable old lady smell. And has one of those great front porches complete with swing, very important for the complete American experience! I have spent the first 5 days coming to terms with the enormous changes that have happened in the past 2 weeks - marriage, new city, new job etc. In the first few hours there was a lot of nearly throwing up, staring into space and restraining myself from turning around and racing back across the Atlantic road-runner style. Those feelings are still here but are a small whisper in my head not the full blown roar they were 5 days ago.
Due to the joys of jet-lag the first days here have been starting at 6.00am and ending at 9.00pm, hardcore I know. (We made it till 10 last night.) They have been filled with:
driving around the city
starting accounts
filling in a million forms
looking at houses
walking around in horrendous humidity and getting cranky
unpacking
frequenting Tar-shay (formerly known as Target
swinging on front porch swings
trying to figure out where to buy wine and beer
realizing wine and beer are sold in separate places
finding the places to buy wine and beer
buying wine and beer
grilling anyone about the city and where they think we should live
getting bitten by very hungry mosquitoes.
With all of this and a lot more (the list was getting a bit long) my first impressions of Philly are really positive. Everyone I've met has been unbelievably helpful and friendly, interested in what we are doing and willing to give us any advice they can.
The plan is to move into a rented place next month but trying to decide where to live is nearly impossible as we have no idea whether one area is better than another. Philly is called the city of neighbourhoods and it really lives up to it. You can be driving down a street and in the space of a mile you can go through a moderately OK area, a really run down area and then suddenly find yourself in upper class suburbia.
Once all of my feet-finding and jet-lag is finished I'll hopefully get a little more interesting and stop going on about neighborhoods! I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. I did, however, meet the most obsessively tidy person in the world the other night. This person, who will remain unnamed, poured wine using a kitchen towel around the neck to catch any drips and broke into a sweat when a glass was put down without a coaster. At one point some boxes were brought down from this person's attic and I couldn't help but notice that each one had a typed label listing every item...this person is now my ultimate tidy standard - if I can get half way there I'll be surpassing myself (especially considering the state of this place right now.)
Love and hugs
Listening to: The very best of Al Green
Sitting on: Sofa in temporary apartment
Weather is: glorious (why am I inside?)
Feel like: chatting
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