You have a baby and you receive a lot of advice about raising said baby. Breast is best. Formula feed babies sleep though the night earlier. Vaccinations lead to autism. Not vaccinating leads to outbeaks of long defeated diseases like whooping cough. Feed your baby when you baby demands to be fed. Put your baby on a routine from birth. On and on and on.
It's clear that there is advice out there for everyone and you choose to listen to the help that suits the type of person you are. The bottom line of it all is that the end-result is a happy and healthy baby - except from the crazy ass non-vaccination advice. I am very clearly someone who thrives on a schedule. We have, therefore, attempted to put Rose on a schedule. We have a book by a British child care author Gina Ford. Ford subscribes to a Nazi-like regime about the baby sleeping, feeding and playing times and also when Mum should eat, sleep, and "drink a large glass of water." Obviously there are a lot of people who would throw her in the bin immediately. I, however, am appreciating having my day organized - the stress is coming for Rose having not read the book.
As Rose is a baby she sleeps when she should be awake and is awake when she should sleep. It has made me crazy. But I have taken a deep breath and tried to gain some perspective. On the whole Rose is doing beautifully. She has one stretch of 5 - 6 hours each night. I get up for one feed and Brent does another so we both get a good chunk of sleep. I'll keep working with the routine because to me it makes sense - ensure that day is very different than night, feed when the baby wakes up (our biggest problem I think is that Rose doesn't seem to feed for long enough and need topping up before naps - a bad sleep association), start daily rituals early like bath and massage, make sure the baby isn't awake for too long.
I like the routine, but it leaves me little space to go on any real outings because she just falls asleep. As she gets older I'm sure she'll be able to stay awake for longer. We have visitors for the next three weeks so I am concerned the routine will be difficult to maintain. But she is our daughter and I need to make sure she is the priority and not entertaining guests by guiding them around the sights of Pennsylvania. Be strong Mummy!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
The first month
This is my first day alone with Rose. I'm holding it together, but there is a simmering queasiness in my stomach. For the last six weeks I have had my Mum to help me with everything from endless cups of tea to burping duty. I have had it easy. Reality begins today. Not that it has been difficult so far, though it is only 12.48. She is down for her lunchtime nap, I have managed to take us all out for Gus's lunchtime walk and I've even emptied the dishwasher. I'm still just waiting for to all to crumble. Hopefully, I will become more confident as the time goes by.
So not only am I officially a mother, I am also officially a stay-at-home mother (until February anyway.) After a summer of complaining about being bored, I now feel very comfortable with my lack of work responsibility. There is not one ounce of me that misses working. The social side definitely, but the graft absolutely not! Time, however, is flying. February will be here before I know it so I'm making an attempt to record the best bits.
The six weeks with Mum allowed me to watch and learn an expert. I have gleaned so many indispensable bits of advice. The bath and massage was a highlight. They recommend that you give newborns only one or two baths a week as their skin can dry out very easily. Rose's first bath was unforgettably fantastic. We filled the kitchen with the essential bath time equipment - bath, infant insert, baby wash, wash clothes - two for body, one for face, two hooded towels, changing mat, clean onesie, two nappies, massage lotion and baby. It amazes me how much stuff is needed. We strip Rose down. I'm completely clueless about how it is going to work, Brent is armed with camera and staying out of the way and Mum takes control. We all hold our breath as Mum lowers a pink naked Rose into the bubbles. We wait for the wail. And wait. She absolutely loves it. Sitting like a queen, she takes everything in as Mum confidently and I nervously pour water over her little legs, tummy and arms. The crying starts when we take her out. It has been the same for every bath time since. We now pour jugs of water on her head and she just looks at us with her huge eyes. She's a superstar and we're are getting more confident thanks to Mum.
A review of the first month has to unfortunately include our hospital stay. I don't really want to write about it. Rose came home on day three and was straight back in the hospital on day four because of bad jaundice. We were in CHOP NICU for five days and it sucked. The care was too good - the jaundice was cleared up in two days, but we were kept in because of a concern with her blood oxygen level. She was connected to beeping machines, pricked and prodded constantly, covered in wires so each time I looked at her I wanted to cry. She was absolutely fine, but the last thing I wanted to see was my brand new daughter in a ICU. A tough week. We were finally sent home with a heart rate monitor that has been a royal pain. We are meant to have it on constantly, but that means more wires. We now only put the thing on at night and Rose is wire free during the day. It makes cuddling so much easier and we are convinced that the whole thing is unnecessary anyway. Hopefully, they will free us from the monitor and it's wires soon!
Rose is now almost 10 pounds and looks chubby. Her cheeks and chin are downright flabby! She is giving Dad the occasional smile - none for Mum yet. I think that means that she doesn't love me. I'm feel content and a little smug that my beautiful little girl is asleep upstairs and I get to look after her. But we'll see how the rest of today goes.
So not only am I officially a mother, I am also officially a stay-at-home mother (until February anyway.) After a summer of complaining about being bored, I now feel very comfortable with my lack of work responsibility. There is not one ounce of me that misses working. The social side definitely, but the graft absolutely not! Time, however, is flying. February will be here before I know it so I'm making an attempt to record the best bits.
The six weeks with Mum allowed me to watch and learn an expert. I have gleaned so many indispensable bits of advice. The bath and massage was a highlight. They recommend that you give newborns only one or two baths a week as their skin can dry out very easily. Rose's first bath was unforgettably fantastic. We filled the kitchen with the essential bath time equipment - bath, infant insert, baby wash, wash clothes - two for body, one for face, two hooded towels, changing mat, clean onesie, two nappies, massage lotion and baby. It amazes me how much stuff is needed. We strip Rose down. I'm completely clueless about how it is going to work, Brent is armed with camera and staying out of the way and Mum takes control. We all hold our breath as Mum lowers a pink naked Rose into the bubbles. We wait for the wail. And wait. She absolutely loves it. Sitting like a queen, she takes everything in as Mum confidently and I nervously pour water over her little legs, tummy and arms. The crying starts when we take her out. It has been the same for every bath time since. We now pour jugs of water on her head and she just looks at us with her huge eyes. She's a superstar and we're are getting more confident thanks to Mum.
A review of the first month has to unfortunately include our hospital stay. I don't really want to write about it. Rose came home on day three and was straight back in the hospital on day four because of bad jaundice. We were in CHOP NICU for five days and it sucked. The care was too good - the jaundice was cleared up in two days, but we were kept in because of a concern with her blood oxygen level. She was connected to beeping machines, pricked and prodded constantly, covered in wires so each time I looked at her I wanted to cry. She was absolutely fine, but the last thing I wanted to see was my brand new daughter in a ICU. A tough week. We were finally sent home with a heart rate monitor that has been a royal pain. We are meant to have it on constantly, but that means more wires. We now only put the thing on at night and Rose is wire free during the day. It makes cuddling so much easier and we are convinced that the whole thing is unnecessary anyway. Hopefully, they will free us from the monitor and it's wires soon!
Rose is now almost 10 pounds and looks chubby. Her cheeks and chin are downright flabby! She is giving Dad the occasional smile - none for Mum yet. I think that means that she doesn't love me. I'm feel content and a little smug that my beautiful little girl is asleep upstairs and I get to look after her. But we'll see how the rest of today goes.
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