thoughts on parenting

We came to some big parenting conclusions tonight. We want Rose to be a happy, confident, lucky-in -love young lady. I think the first two are controllable, the third, unfortunately, is not. As parents, we are in control of our child's happiness. We can provide a stable loving home, a dysfunctional, abusive home or anything in between. Whatever we provide for here is going to go a long way in determining the person our little girl will become. Of course nurture and nature interact together - but we are in charge of the nurture side and I determined to make it as happy and stable as possible.
For me that doesn't mean she will be receiving the best toys or clothes, going to the best private school. We don;t want those things and cannot afford them. Instead I am going to focus on my marriage and myself so I am happy. She may only have clothes from Target in her wardrobe, but she will have all the support, love and attention we can offer. But, she will have to get used to Mum and Dad's date nights.
I went to a mummy book club tonight. The other women there were all new mothers and back at work full-time as lawyers, landscape architects and school psychologists. The discussion was about finding that elusive balance between work and motherhood. Society seems to look down on motherhood; instead, a prestigious career is the ultimate goal of the modern women, children, if they do happen, come after the job. You have made it when you are successful in your career. Obviously, every woman is different, but I came away feeling that my job doesn't give me the sense of fulfillment I get from motherhood. I'm sure that I would be looked down on by some because of that. But, ultimately, it doesn't matter what a passing acquaintance or even a close friend thinks about your life choices - if you have found personal happiness in whatever guise it may be you have made it.