Buddhism for Mothers

"Do not persue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
In the very here and now,
The practitioner dwells
In stability and freedom."

~ the Buddha

Last week a neighbour bought me the book "Buddhism for Mothers". It was such a kind and thoughtful gesture on her part as she has listened to my mothering complaints over the last month. The book is resonating with my emotions, feelings and thoughts about not only motherhood, but how I'm living my entire life. Also, I turn thirty in less than two weeks and this milestone has caused me to go into hyper-reflective mode. This book really could not have come at a better time.

I started the book on my afternoon off. I took a trolley into Philly, walked down Walnut Street, bought Rose a sticker pad (apparently I am compelled to purchase something for a child on my free afternoons), consumed tea, a really expensive and terrible coffee and two glasses of wine while reading the first two chapters, Buddhism and Motherhood and Parenting Mindfully. Now, after a couple of quiet moments on the couch, I've finished chapter three, Finding Calm. This is my first glimpse into Buddhist thoughts and my takeaways so far are:
Live in the present
Treat every moment as precious
Do not chide yourself for not doing things right, getting angry, feeling guilt.
instead recognize your feelings whatever they may be, accept them and let them pass, because they always do pass.
Learn to smile at life's little annoyances. Laugh more.
Perfection doesn't exist.
Write out your feelings instead of letting them swirl around in your head.
I'm inspired by this list. My freak outs of the last few weeks stem from so many negative emotions, anger, frustration, boredom, guilt, annoyance, embarrassment. This book gives me hope that I have the power inside me to prevent these horrible events from happening in the future. I don't need to medicate, I need to meditate!

I have consciously tried to recognize my emotions. Today, I watched my frustration and anger rise during the pre-Gus walk preparation. Gus is circling my legs, Tom os crying in the Ergo, Rose is insisting on putting on her own shoes. I wasn't successful at preventing the ball of frustration from forming in my chest, but I was able to step back and watch it form. And it passed. We walked, Rose chased me pretending to be a crocodile, Gus pooped and Tom whined. And I'm trying to notice the precious moments: Rose stroking a small leaf bud on a hedge, Tom kicking his legs during tummy time, Rose sharing a toy with a boy at the museum, my changing breath patterns while running.

I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Life changing...maybe.